It is never good to let go of someone you loved and whom you still have feelings for you. Here is how you can deal with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, of your own accord, and specifically if your intention is to get back together with him/her. To reconciliate and to start again, it is necessary to go beyond the mere wish of coming back together; it is necessary to learn and talk about one’s mistakes. Here is the step by step guide on how to win your ex back about it and actually have your ex begging to get back to you.
1. Reflect on the Relationship
Before you are ready even to consider winning an ex back, it may be wise to take a moment to consider the relationship. Take time and try to find out why the relationship ended and what part you had on that decision. Doing so will enable a mature attitude to the situation as well as an acknowledgement of shortcomings that will be necessary to solve it.
You should get amble time to think over whether it will be good for both of you to get back and try to build your relationship again. It is evident, at times, people become ‘relationship oriented’ and not ‘partner oriented. ’ Always evaluate if the break up is necessary to uncover the real reasons such as evaluating if you are willing to do what is required to make the relationship work.
2. Give It Some Time
Indeed, feelings may range high after the split and this is a period that people may end up doing something that they would regret later. Rather than immediately reaching out to your partner to shout at them, or cry to them, or make up with them, take some time off. Eventually it will give you time to weigh out what you want from the relationship again and your ex will begin to miss you. One thing that should never be done is coercion to resume the relationship as soon as possible.
In this period, relevant attention to individual growth. Spending time on improving one’s self and follow dreams and interests, find a good job, or impress family and friends. This will make you have a better perception about yourself as it will also shame your ex to see that you can change for the better.
3. Reestablish Contact Gradually
After you have had some time to be separate from each other, it is time to reconnect with your ex. The first step is to take friendly and non-aggressive approach in their communication. A short message to tell when one has arrived or to ask about something frivolous is good as it does not put pressure on them.
When people reconnect it is recommended that there is no matter that is talked about that has to do with past disagreements or misunderstandings. Concentrate on the efforts of reconnection by discussing about some topic of common interest or perhaps the events that people have done together. The overall idea is simple – to arrange the atmosphere in such a way that your ex will be comfortable to share something with you.
4. Communicate Openly and Honestly
When you begin to try and reconnect, then the main thing that is important is speaking with the other person. It is important to be expressive about ones emotions but should not over power or domineer the ex. State that you have given a chance to review the nurturance of the relationship and apologize where you went wrong. If an apology is due then offer it sincerely and affirm a new way will be found in future.
Still, it is also necessary to hear what your ex has to say for themselves. Compassionate and be prepared to attend to some of the fears and things that led to the break up. It is not a one-sided process and, thus, both of you should provide and receive feelings of understanding and mutual concern.
5. Address the Underlying Issues
It is not about winning over your ex in such a way that he or she is willing to get back together or willing to work towards the relationship; it is getting the needed solution for the problems that caused the break up in the first place. Some of the things that may be said may be unpleasant and may involve making adjustments to one’s behaviour or actions towards the other person.
It does not matter if the difficulty was in communication, trust, or incompatible life plans – all these aspects have to sink in. Try and come up with ways on how the two of you could eventually come to an agreement and don’t rush through it. Again, one must understand that reconstructing a relationship is not an easy task and it requires much of time and energy.
6. Focus on Building a New Relationship
This is one of the worst things that people do in an effort to win back their ex – that is to try and resume where they ended. Replacing or denying the former partner is unproductive; the best thing is to establish a new relationship taking into consideration the bitter lessons of the previous break-up.
This is a sign of trying to come to the relationship with different experiences and a brand-new attitude of trying to make it succeed. Be ready for something new for both of you and spend time rekindling the feeling you have for each other. Let your ex know that you have become a new person and you want a better and healthier way of handling your relation.
7. Be Patient and Persistent
There is no ‘magic’ of winning the heart of an ex within the shortest time span possible. It is something that can only be done patiently and persistently and also where one has the genuine intent of making things to work. Do not try to force your ex, or make him or her do something out of compulsion or pressure. It is more productive to make many tiny and significant gestures that would help to restore the relationship.
Expect some problems and obstacles and of course, do not be disappointed if, at times, things are not what you planned. The important thing is to stick to the program and to prove to your ex that you are willing to give your best for the relationship to work.
Conclusion
In case you are having thought processing and readiness to bring back your ex, then you must embrace the process and approach it with caution and servitude. The best ways of reconnecting has to do with creating some space for both of you, then slowly reconnecting, honesty in communication, and getting to the root of the problem. Just remember that does not only want to get back with your ex but to come back stronger and better so that the two of you will be able to survive the tougher times in the future.